Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close.

I've seen a lot of films.
I've watched a lot of TV shows.
I've read a lot of books.
It takes a lot for me to say that something has had a profound impact on my life, when it comes to books and films etc... The film I saw tonight (see title) was absolutely incredible. I mean, wow. I've been blown away.

It's about this Autistic kid whose dad is a victim of the September 11th terrorist attacks on the World Trade Centre in New York. His dad used to so things with him like set up trails, keeping him entertained by using his logic. A year after his death, the kid (Oskar) finds a key - he doesn't know what it's for and goes on a search of the entirity of New York City to find its lock. I won't share the ending, but the best way to sum it up is that the journey he finds himself going on brings him closer to his mother. In any other film it'd be clichéd, but in this context it rips your heart from inside your chest.

When he turned to her, cool as a cucumber, and said "I wish it had been you" I almost wailed. I have never cried so hard at a film in my life, literally. The way she responds by saying "So do I" just makes it hit you that bit harder.

If I've learned anything in the last few weeks and months, it's that your parents are the only people who will ever really love you from the deep depths of their heart. No matter how badly you mess up, no matter how wrong you get life, no matter how much you put them through - they may wash their hands of you but they never stop caring, never stop loving. It's made me realise how much I value the relationship I have with my mum and dad. It's made me even more angry that there are kids out there who will never see their mum or dad again and yet there are women callous enough to deliberately bar their children from their fathers. Shame on those women, and may your souls be damned for doing that to your child.

I've been so angry lately that I've had the "born alone, die alone" philosophy, I've tried to love people in the wrong way. The fact is, the only people who will never ever let me down are my family. Every friend, every lover, ever partner, every acquaintance - they have come, gone, passed through and left a path of destruction. My family have never done that to me. Everyone else is irrelevant - I value friendship but I'd never chose a man over my mum. I'm can't be the one who hurts her time and time again - I have been a royal pain in the arse and she still loves me, she till comforts me, she's still there at any time of day wherever I may be calling from on Earth. Where have my friends been when I've been crying myself to sleep? Where have my friends been when I've been in so much pain I can barely breathe? Where were my friends when there was an 8 hour time difference? I can't answer that question.

I wasn't born alone. I will not die alone. That's what family's about.