Wellwellwellwellwell, THAT was unexpected (if not a pleasant surprise)!
When you think you might never see someone again, you start to let go. As time goes by you think it'll be easier, that you'll move on and everything else will fall into place. Then something happens, someone says something, and that illusion you have of being fine without them begins to fade away. Suddenly you realise that your life will change in a massive way because you want that person in your life. Decisions will have to be made. Although you're with that person, you'll have to do without them because they're so far away. When you've kept in touch with someone who is so far away for 2 and a half years, you find yourself asking why. Out of all the people we met and all the time that's gone by, why me and why now? The answer we both gave is "I don't know"...
He might object to me telling you about him, but if he does ever come across this I'll delete it if he doesn't like what's been said. I doubt it though, it's more a personal gathering of thoughts than a statment that says LOOK AT MEEEEEEEEEE! Putting it into words to see if I'm 'normal' - seeing if I feel the same things as everyone else. I'm like a giggly 13 year old when I talk about him, he makes me feel all bubbly and light-headed ^__^
His name is Max, he's 25 and he's from Vancouver (Canada, to save you Googling it!). He's a good 5 foot 10 and has dark brown hair. His eyes are like circles of melted chocolate, they're all shiny and tempting :) I've always thought he looks like Matt Le Blanc (Joey from Friends), really. He's beautiful to look and and has a beautiful soul. He likes his rap music and supports the LA Lakers (basketball) - he's cooonstantly talking about Tupac and Kobe Bryant lol.
In the time I've known him, he's always been lovely. He treats me like a princess. Naturally though, part of me always wonders how many other girls he's talking ot the way he does to me but I can't see him ever being "like that". He's just one of those men who is genuinely nice. I can't put my finger on it, but there's part of me that thinks he's too good to be true...
Every time we talk, he asks me when I'm coming to Canada :) I want to see him more than anything, but I can't bloody afford it!! We had a conversation last night that's made me realise it's him. It's all about him. I want to see the world so I can see him too. I asked him straight out why he spent his time talking to me, and he simply said "trust, frienship, honesty". I asked himm where he wanted it to go. He said, and I quote "a serious relationship with a solid foundation" (copy and pasted from Facebook haha!). Those are words I never thought I'd hear from him, ever. It's made me realise that all these feelings in the time I've known him haven't been in vain - he wants it too.
Now we need to talk properly. Is long distance doable? Yes, I believe it is. Kath managed it with Art, and they're happily married in Cali. Why shouldn't we be the same? I think that at the moment it's the best thing for me - to know someone cares and I can be faithful to, but that I don't have to answer to. I want to spend every second with him, but not being able to see him means that it'll be better when we do finally get reunited :) I've missed him so much. Clichéd, but I do think about him every day - even if it's just wondering what he's doing or thinking about time differences.
We'll see... All I can do now is talk to him and see where we go. And listen to Belgium by Bowling for Soup. "And now you're halfway around the world, And I'm just a day behind, Nothing seems to fill the hole that I have since you left my side, You'll always be my little girl though I can't hold you tonight, And now you're halfway around the world and I'm just a day behind".
Maxxy, I love you <3
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